the attempt to write my heart has always failed in the past. i was never the girl who managed to keep a diary for longer than a month at a time, and while my feelings are written in random journals, i cannot begin to start piecing them together to make any sense of time or age. yet, maybe while i write out my feelings in frustration, anger or joy, i can attempt to affect someone's life who has decided to follow each slow step that i make forward, and who isnt afraid to cry with me when i take two back.
the journey i have found myself on in this 21st year of my life is not one that i would have picked for myself. which is a funny statement, considering i have placed myself in it. oh, to remember back at age 12 when i had everything figured out, yet i discovered quickly how time flies the older you get, and you never quite have life figured out the way you thought you did.
i find myself on a beautiful path of discovery, hardship, tears and regret, yet i am still refusing to let go of the dream i have held onto for so long. i have always had the stubbornness of my family, and i will fight to get what i know God has called me to. the life of saving others, the life of putting others in front of my wishes, and discovering beauty through pain, love through a world of hate, and beautiful peace.